The Essential Quality of Leadership

When I was in grade school, I was very extroverted, almost to the point of being obnoxious. But in my teens and twenties and even beyond, God led me through an unwanted journey that I struggled to piece together. After becoming a follower of Christ, after committing to serve Him, God appeared to be hurling one shocking circumstance after another into my life. Finally, I snapped. In my bewilderment, I yelled at God. Only later did I begin to understand that God was dismantling my self-sufficiency for a very good reason.

The Missing Element

I’ve heard and read a lot on Christian leadership, and I’ve learned from what I’ve come across. But I have noticed that one essential leadership trait often gets left out—even by Christian leadership experts. The primary quality that God infuses into His leaders is brokenness. By brokenness, I mean that work of God by which our self-sufficiency is dismantled and we learn to live and lead in humble dependence upon Him.

Most of us would have thought Moses was ready to lead God’s people out of Egypt when he struck down the Egyptian taskmaster, ready to rally the people to revolt. But he wasn’t broken yet. What about Peter, stepping out with raw courage, taking a swing at the high priest’s servant? It only got him a direct rebuke from Jesus. It wasn’t until Peter wept after his denial that brokenness began to do its essential work. And David? Surely he was qualified to lead after his bold encounter with the Philistine giant. Nope. Not broken yet. His years of cave-hopping and running from a mad king would be needed to teach him still deeper lessons in dependence on God.

Many times, brokenness is the result of missed opportunities, of embarrassing mistakes, of blatant failures on our part. We do things we can’t believe we have just done, and it breaks us. We’re not the heroes we thought we were. At other times, it is the result of life’s surprises, of things happening to us that we feel we don’t deserve—a divorce, an estranged adult child, a career cut short. Here, young David, being forced to run from Saul, serves as a good example. Sometimes Scripture even shows God having a direct hand in the circumstances that break His people. Think of Hannah (see 1 Samuel 1) or Naomi (see Ruth 1). But time after time, in the lives of the great people of God, there is brokenness. It is the essential quality of leadership.

Under the Mighty Hand of God

Brokenness eventually confronts us with a choice—not whether difficult circumstances will enter our lives, but how we will respond when they do. Peter describes this choice in unusually forceful language:

“God is opposed to the proud, but He gives grace to the humble. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, so that He may exalt you at the proper time” (1 Peter 5:5–6).

The word translated “opposed” is stronger than our English word may suggest. The Greek term antitassomai means to set oneself against another, to resist actively. It can even carry the picture of arranging oneself in battle array against an opponent. Peter is not merely saying that God disapproves of pride. He actively works against it.

That becomes even clearer when we look at the passage Peter is quoting—Proverbs 3:31–34. This Old Testament passage describes two radically different ways God responds to people. His curse rests on the house of the wicked, while He blesses the dwelling of the righteous. He scoffs at scoffers, but gives grace to the humble. Peter draws the conclusion for us: Don’t put yourself on the side God is actively resisting. Humble yourself under His hand.

And notice what kind of hand it is: the mighty hand of God.

God’s hand is mighty either way. It is mighty when He actively opposes the proud, and it is mighty when He gives undeserved favor to the humble. Any sensible person would want to be on the right side of a hand like that.

This is especially important for leaders because being in a position of leadership constantly tempts us to protect our image, prove ourselves, defend our importance, and secure our own advancement. Peter points us in exactly the opposite direction.

Go low.
Humble yourself.
Submit to what God is doing in you.
Leave the lifting to Him.

That last part is too consequential to ignore: “so that He may exalt you at the proper time.”

The leader who refuses to exalt himself is precisely the person God promises to exalt when He sovereignly opens up that moment.

The mighty hand we’re tempted to resist is the very hand that is capable of lifting us up.

That is why brokenness is not something we should spend our lives fighting. When God uses circumstances to dismantle our pride, expose our limitations, or strip away our self-sufficiency, our task is not to dictate the terms. It is to humble ourselves under His mighty hand and cooperate with what He is doing.

And this raises the practical question:

What does this actually look like?
How do we manage our brokenness well?

How to Manage It

Brokenness calls for some kind of action. Just like a broken fence in the backyard, our brokenness is obvious to others. We can’t really hide it. It has a way of reminding us that it hasn’t gone anywhere. And like a broken fence, people can see through it, into our hearts. Brokenness has a way of exposing what we would rather conceal. Our limitations become visible, our confidence is shaken, and sometimes others see struggles we would rather keep private. So, how should we respond to the circumstances that break us?

We must manage them well. Just like anything else God allows in our lives, we are to steward our brokenness well. If He has given us a family, a talent, or a job, we must steward them all well. In the same way, if He has willed a measure of brokenness in our lives, we are responsible for what we do with it.

Here, Paul’s own example is instructive for us. In 1 Corinthians 2:3, he writes, “I was with you in weakness and in fear and in much trembling.” Paul is not hiding his weaknesses from the Corinthian believers. Strikingly, he is not hiding his fear, either. He does not fall prey to the common leadership tendency to conceal his flaws or his emotional state. Quite the opposite. He is remarkably candid about his weakness.

Here is the guiding truth behind Paul’s disposition:

It is when people see us humbly acknowledge that we really don’t have it all together that they can feel more relaxed about their own brokenness, and the more we relax and are real with one another, the more truly one we become.

This does not mean that leaders should indiscriminately disclose every weakness or make their struggles the burden of the people they lead. But neither should they construct an image of invulnerability. Brokenness, properly stewarded, makes us more approachable. It helps us recognize weakness in others without being threatened by it. And because we know what it is like to need grace ourselves, we become better equipped to extend grace to the people God has entrusted to us.

What might this look like in practice? It my mean admitting toyour team that you made a poor decision, receiving criticism without immediately defending yourself, or acknowledging that you need help with woething you cannot hndle alone. It may mean responding to someone else’s failure with the same patience and grace you have needed yourself.

But don’t just look outward—look upward. Block out some time for just you and God. Go before Him, admit your weaknesses, limitations, and failures. Confess that, despite your abilities, training, and qualifications, you are dependent on Him. Focus on a specific situation where you are in deep need of Him, on His ability, and His wisdom.

Then wait.

Linger before Him. Listen well. Receive His love and His peace. Thank Him for the difference He makes in your life. Stay until you are confident it is time to go. Then commit that, for the rest of this day, you will carry yourself before others with the same spirit you have just displayed before God.

This is wlllful brokenness, initiated by you, rather than in response to a specific breaking situation, which brings us back to a truth we have already visited: God responds to this kind of proactive humility with grace—His undeserved favor (Proverbs 3:34; James 4:6; 1 Peter 5:5).

Tying it All Together

Here is what I did not understand in my early years: Brokenness is not the interruption of our leadership. It is the formation of it. God is not stripping us of usefulness; He is stripping us of illusions. And as we humble ourselves under His hand, He can make us more fruitful in our brokenness than we ever were in our self-confidence.

So don’t waste the pain. Steward it. Let it soften you, deepen you, and make you the kind of leader who can carry grace without dropping it.

Because in the end, brokenness is not the thing you survive.

It is the very thing God uses.